Emotional needs and justification
- By Katie Chimes
I find it interesting to consider the reasons for our decisions and our consequent actions – why we do what we do. How about you?
It‘s very often the case that we make our decisions emotionally and then, the decision having been made, find all sorts of logical reasons for our decision. Remember that classic description of human behaviour – we buy with our hearts then go to work on justifying our purchase intellectually.
This new golf club will give me better results so I will be in a better mood which is better for my family, if I buy this latest phone it will be really useful for work, these shoes are sooo comfortable, this new car has better mpg so I’m saving the planet – basically our emotions decided that we simply must have the latest golf club, the latest phone, a new pair of shoes or a new car!
It is sometimes the case that we let our emotions make a decision for us even when we can create little or no logical justification for that decision! My predilection for chocolate would probably fall into that category. I like to think that chocolate serves as an emotional crutch, an anchor in troubled times, a stress reliever, but…
It’s easy to laugh at our tendency to let our emotions drive our decisions, but there is a positive side to this whole subject.
When our patients arrive in our office the issue, on the face of it, is usually one of pain. Of course pain is quite an emotional driver in itself. However when we dig a little deeper it’s often possible to discover the REAL emotional driver for why patients seek our help. The pain is real enough but that pain is stopping them from doing what they want in their lives?
When we ask that question we will often hear things like I can’t pick up my grandchild, I can no longer tend the garden that I’ve nurtured for 50 years, my entire social life revolves around golf but I can no longer swing a club! I need to be able to walk my daughter down the aisle next month etc.
I ask... What is your Why?
These are some of the real reasons for patients appearing in our office. The pain is simply the barrier to them doing the things they want to do, the things that make their life worth living – the decisions that are being driven by their emotions!
I consider myself more than a pain doctor. I like to be their ally in enabling them to meet their emotional needs and to keep meeting them. To get them well and to keep them that way!